I always thought how nice it would be to be recognized and admired for some amazing accomplishment and have adoring fans clamoring for my autograph or to be awarded the key to the city, like those philanthropist types. Oh, wait, that’s just a silly fantasy dreamed up by my overactive imagination fueled by my subconscious ego, the one that keeps whispering to me that I’m special. Yes I acknowledge that thought because I am special, just ask my mom, but however special she might think I am, reality sinks its gnarly sharp teeth in and says,
“The truth is you’re only special to the people who love you but beyond that, you don’t matter.”
Most days, I brush-off that nasty bite of reality because through lessons I’ve learned, the REAL truth is:
When it feeds on insecurity, reality is nothing more than a tic on the tree of life.
So, when the tic of reality bites, biting back is your best defense. By allowing the blissful positive thoughts, no matter how grandiose or ridiculous they may seem, somehow, those positive thoughts inspire ideas, creativity, motivation, and self-confidence to overcome the negative chatter of reality. That isn’t to say the negative thoughts don’t exist, or by feeding ego with fantasy the reality goes away, but rather suggests that by guiding negative thoughts into a gentler and more positive direction the tic can’t burrow its way into the psyche and bite its way through the desire to accomplish great things.
Insecurities are a funny thing; they bring out the worst in people, limit our abilities, hold us back from achieving goals and continuously fill our minds with negative chatter. There are ways to combat this negativity and turn it into something positive but we have to be willing to accept the challenge. We have to be ready for a change in mindset and start believing in positive reality and stop beating ourselves down with those silly insecurities. I don’t write this with some big fancy degree behind me, it’s just information I’m sharing through my own life lessons, as these are just some of the steps I used to change my thought process for more positive outcomes in life.
The seven steps to a “Positive Dose of R-E-A-L-I-T-Y”
R-Replace your negative thoughts with positive ones
We tend to be our own worst critics and believe those negative and often times destructive thoughts but honestly, there is no reason to beat yourself up! This is about treating yourself with kindness, compassion, respect, forgiveness and love. When you feel these things for yourself it shows outwardly-not just in everything you do, but also with everyone you come in contact with. Replace your self-doubt speech with one of self-confidence and start believing it, once you believe it others will too, not to mention-if you believe it you can achieve it.
E-Engage in positive/healthy activities
Get active every day-aside from work and family responsibilities-Activity is different for everyone, it could be a work-out, a movie with friends, a night on the town, volunteering in the community…whatever it is, make it something positive and leave your thoughts behind. This is the opportunity to let go and enjoy yourself without dwelling on your insecurities.
A-Accept the things you can’t change
Face it, no one is perfect! We all have our body issues, personal problems, and past misfortunes but constantly reminding ourselves about them or comparing our imperfections to what we perceive as someone else’s perfections is counterproductive. Working toward self-improvement is a positive thing, but give yourself a break, you are who you are and that is…a special kind of perfect! While some things can be changed and made better, there are some that we just need to accept and embrace because it is those little imperfections that make us unique and special. Stop rehashing/living in the past and move forward, set new goals, create new memories, and the present will shape the future in a much more meaningful and positive way.
Love who you are! Believe in yourself and that you are special, talented, confident and secure. This isn’t about being arrogant or thinking you’re better than anyone else, it is just about being comfortable in your own skin and more than that, being comfortable in your own mind. When you believe in yourself and love who you are, others will too. Again…If you believe it, you can achieve it!!
Share your inspirations with others, be a mentor and offer guidance but remember to allow someone else to take the reins once in a while-let them offer suggestions and ideas. Allow yourself to be open to others perspectives without shutting down when they don’t mesh with yours. We are all seeking our place in the world but sometimes we need inspiration from others to achieve our own goals. By remaining open and objective even when you disagree with someone’s views, it may just be your opportunity to be inspired and in turn inspire greatness in others.
Stop waiting for reassurance! You know what’s best for you and you need to believe that you have the power to make personal decisions and take risks without waiting for someone to tell you it’s okay (unless their approval is required). If you need to; have a discussion with someone else first, do research, and ask questions, absolutely do all of those things but don’t over analyze it or hash and rehash it with someone else and expect them make your decision for you. Instincts or gut feelings are most often correct so listen to them carefully and then trust yourself to make your best judgment.
Enough with the No’s, the cant’s, the wont’s…This is the time to say Yes because Yes-you do matter, yes- you are good enough, yes-you can achieve greatness, yes-you will set new goals, and yes-you are special. When you always focus on the things you can’t do, nothing will ever get done! Now is a great time to start focusing on the things you can do, and do them; why? Because YES-you can.
As with any lessons in life, what you learn and discover doesn’t happen overnight. This, like many other lessons is a process and takes time to evolve and become second nature…but don’t give up! Chances are you aren’t a super-model, rock-star, millionaire or best-selling author but you and you alone have the ability to be anything you want to be and achieve greatness according to your own desires if you just believe in the positive reality and all of the potential within yourself.
As for me…I’m still waiting for those clamoring fans and the key to the city, but now I wait with a positive dose of R-E-A-L-I-T-Y and remain hopeful that my greatest achievement is yet to come.